Taking care of other people is at the heart of being a firefighter. For Adam Payne, it goes even further – it’s part of who he is, and a pattern that’s shaped his life for as long as he can remember.
However, that instinct to put others first meant that when he began struggling himself, he tried to push through and carry on as normal, not realising just how much help he needed.
Thanks to his wife and colleagues, who noticed changes in his behaviour, Adam came to accept that he wasn’t coping – and reached out to Fire Fighters Charity for support.
“It gave me the chance to step back, reset, and gain the tools to look after myself so I can continue looking after others,” Adam, who works for Devon and Somerset FRS, says.
“I’ve lived with anxiety on and off from a young age. In my previous role, for example, I spent a lot of time commuting on my own, which often left me missing home.
“Then, about three years ago, I lost my best mate – we actually found him. I phoned the charity a couple of days later and was invited to visit Harcombe House on the Reset Programme, but life felt busy and I kept putting it off.
“I’ve always worried about other people more than myself, but in reality that was a horrific time, and I really needed help.”
It was those closest to him who began to notice the impact.
“My Watch Manager called me into the office one day and said, ‘your stress levels are really high and we need to deal with it.’ I knew I’d been quieter, but I thought I was covering it up.
“Other people see you differently to how you see yourself – and he’d noticed. My wife had too. It’s often the people around you who do.”
The conversation proved a wake-up call, and Adam got back in touch to rearrange his visit to Harcombe House from there.
“My world runs at 100mph – partly my own fault – so to go away and not have to worry about anything was incredible. It gave me the space to step back and really look at my life,” he says.
“I knew I hadn’t been in a good place for quite a while, but being around other people and hearing their stories was so reassuring. It made me realise I wasn’t on my own.
“I learnt a lot, and now I’m putting it all into practice. It was wonderful – truly wonderful.”
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help straight away”
Adam Payne
The experience inspired Adam to help others and encourage them not to hide how they’re feeling, before things have a chance to escalate.
“It’s normal not to feel right at times, but taking a step back can really help,” he says. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help straight away. It might sound cliché, but it’s so important to me. I’ve seen how things can get progressively worse over time.
“I’ve had counselling, hypnotherapy, CBT – nothing helped me as much as that week at Harcombe House. It’s a long journey ahead, but I’m now hopeful with the tools I learnt from Harcombe House, I’ll get there.”
Adam went on to organise a Christmas prize draw to raise funds for us following his stay and says: “I really felt I had to give something back, that was really important for me.
“Seeing the difference the charity makes, with such genuine care, really opened my eyes to how vital their work is.”
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