When someone is going through a difficult time with their mental health, the signs aren’t always obvious – and knowing when to ask for help can be difficult.
For Andy Gittens, those signs came in the form of physical symptoms – and he says accepting a helping hand for his mental health improved his physical wellbeing too.
Andy, 66, a retired firefighter from Leicestershire Fire and Rescue Service, had experienced some difficult shouts during his career, but never addressed the impact they’d have on him at the time. It was only during the pandemic that he realised they’d had more of an effect on him than he realised.
“I never put anything down to my mental health when I started struggling,” says Andy. “It was in the middle of Covid and I started having what I can only describe as very bad Covid symptoms – only I didn’t have Covid.
“Eight months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to have this conversation. I couldn’t comprehend a conversation for longer than about a minute. It was so much brain fog.
“I’ve always been very busy, constantly on with something, I sing in a choir, I spend a lot of time with music, a lot of practical computer bits and we’re busy building a house!
“Suddenly I was just sitting there at my desk staring at what was in front of me. I was struggling to breathe and the brain fog was awful.
“I’d gone from building this house every day, throwing rocks around, to constantly needing to go to bed… that went on for six or seven months, in which time we did actually get Covid.”
“I never thought psych support would help it…”
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Andy knew about the support we offer beneficiaries – all thanks to your kind-hearted donations – having signposted some of his colleagues to us in the past.
“I was a big fundraiser throughout my career,” he adds. “I hadn’t accessed support myself then, but I did refer a couple of other colleagues. It always had a great reputation from people that’d been helped.”
Despite knowing this, Andy didn’t immediately think to contact us. It was only when a friend of his suggested it that he did – and when he was offered remote counselling, he was concerned it wouldn’t be beneficial to him.
“I was very sceptical when someone suggested it to me to be honest, I couldn’t see it making a blind bit of difference to me,” says Andy.
“We were going to start on video but actually, for me, I found the phone was best. It was non-distracting and I could feel calm and relaxed throughout. It was very comforting, I was just lying on the settee throughout, just floating along really. I can’t explain it.”
Throughout the sessions, Andy realised incidents from throughout his career still played a big part in his mind – and were contributing to his struggles with his mental health now.
“I’d had an accident on the job which caused me to have quite a lot of time off while I recovered,” says Andy.
“I eventually went back on duty but unfortunately I had a couple of other nasty jobs that were quite deep-seated following that.
“They were in very confined spaces, which I struggled with suddenly, and at that time I realised it was crazy to carry on, I was putting others at risk.”
Andy left the fire service in 2000, but never received support at the time, instead powering on and believing he’d dealt with it.
“The psychological therapist slowly made this link between what I discussed about my claustrophobia and the symptoms I’d been suffering,” says Andy.
“I think issues in your mind do burn and get worse as you get older. Things that never affected you before. The more time you’ve got on your hands, the worse it gets.
“A lot of it now is around getting old and not feeling fit enough. I do a lot of climbing up and around Snowdonia and we’ve started feeling scared of heights and ladders and things… it’s not about actually being scared, it’s about knowing we’re not as fit anymore and if we injure ourselves, it’ll take a lot longer to recover.
“I cannot possibly put into words how brilliant it was. I was completely and utterly wrong, absolutely. I’ve since told everyone I’ve had counselling to spread the word more.
“There’s all this macho crap and tough guy stuff, but it really, really helped me so I have to talk about it.
“The main thing it does is it puts everything in order, in a context. You can’t possibly wipe anything away, but it orders it all.”
Andy says, as he worked on improving his mental wellbeing by addressing all the things he’d pushed to the back of his mind, his physical health also improved.
He adds: “I can’t explain it but my physical symptoms have got better almost to the clock of my last psychological session. I can’t reconcile that.
“Now I’m back to working on the house, with a huge two-acre garden, and I’m up and down that all the time and not out of breath at all.
“I’d always been this big macho man, always refusing anything like this, but it has just opened my life again.”
If you’re struggling with your health and wellbeing, we may be able to help you. Call our Support Line on 0800 389 8820, make an enquiry online or register for MyFFC now and visit the ‘Access Support’ tab at the top of the MyFFC homepage.
You can also join our ‘Share Your Story’ Group in MyFFC, by clicking on the ‘Groups’ tab, to chat to others who have received our support or enquire about sharing your own story.