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Dave: “I’d spent years helping others, but realising you need help yourself is the hardest part”

Retired firefighter, Dave Stedham, found the helping hand he needed through our remote counselling after a challenging few years, including the tragic death of his son.

“Reach out – just pick up the phone, the sooner the better. If you can’t do it today then make a plan to, then ensure you stick to that plan. I got to the point I had to do something. Don’t wait that long.”

Those are the powerful words of Dave, a retired LFB Station Manager, who turned to us for remote counselling after facing one of the most difficult periods of his life. Following a series of personal losses, he hopes that by sharing his story, others will be encouraged to reach out sooner than he did.

An older person stands smiling beside a large black and white dog in front of a grey van labeled "Last Chance Animal Rescue Ambulance" on a sunny day, with a building and blue sky in the background.

“I got in touch with the charity a couple of years ago. I’d had a few things happen in quick succession and I’d been struggling a lot with stress,” says Dave.

“Tragically my son passed away about five years ago, which was very sudden. Then my wife’s eldest son passed away about three years ago. It all built up and I really wasn’t coping. I realised I needed to get help. That’s the point I contacted the charity.

“It’s not easy to recognise that in yourself, I’d spent years helping others, but realising you need help yourself is the hardest part.”

Although Dave had supported us throughout his career, it was only when everything got on top of him that he picked up the phone. Looking back, he wishes he’d done so much earlier.

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“Right from the get-go it was so helpful,” he explains. “I initially spoke to a chap over the phone who was really lovely, we had a similar sense of humour, and he immediately put me at ease.

“He then referred me to the psychological therapy team and I had some remote counselling over video calls. She was absolutely fantastic, and I felt really comfortable doing it from home.

“She was just so understanding, and took me right the way back to where I believe my issues started – long before I thought they had.

A man in a gray suit and a woman in a black dress with yellow floral prints and a matching yellow jacket stand smiling together outdoors on a sunny day. They are on a gravel surface with cars and trees in the background.

“I still use an awful lot of the tools she taught me now, it continues to help me. I couldn’t afford to continue being the person I was – barely coping – it wasn’t good for my own wellbeing, or anyone else’s around me.

“I’ve been doing really well since then and I’ve actually taken up a volunteering job since, at a local animal rescue centre, which I love.”

Dave’s message is a simple one: don’t wait until things become overwhelming. Fire Fighters Charity is here to support you – wherever you are in life, and whenever you need it.

If you feel you’d benefit from our health and wellbeing support, you can call our Support Line on 0800 389 8820, make an enquiry online or click below:

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