While her friends were making scrapbooks of their dream weddings, Tash had just one ambition growing up: to be a parent.
That dream was sadly cut short after a devastating miscarriage and hysterectomy. But during some of the most challenging times, she says we were by her side.
Now part of the fire safety protection team at Royal Berkshire FRS, Tash first got in touch with us while working for Dorset FRS (before it merged with Wiltshire).
“When I first reached out in 2016, I worried people would think I couldn’t do the job because I was asking for help so early… but I was so wrong. It literally changed my life. I was in a very dark place at the time,” she says.
“I’d unfortunately had to have a full hysterectomy around that time, after complications with endometriosis. I’d suffered with it for many years before the procedure.
“I’d always been told I couldn’t have children because of the endometriosis. Some people grow up dreaming of weddings, but all I wanted was to be a parent.
“Incredibly, a few years after I was first diagnosed, I actually fell pregnant. I thought it was a miracle.
“Unfortunately I lost my baby boy, which was awful.
“I think it did spark a little bit of hope in my mind, knowing I’d got pregnant so maybe I could again. Unfortunately, however, the endometriosis got worse and that’s why I needed the full hysterectomy.
“It took away any chance of having a child and I remember feeling completely numb. It felt like a part of me was missing.
“This all happened when I was in my 30s – I’m 46 now and I remember feeling like I didn’t have any direction and I didn’t know what to do. My Line Manager at the time urged me to reach out to the charity.”
Tash had mistakenly thought that we prioritised support for operational colleagues, so was relieved to discover she was mistaken.
“I was invited to Marine Court and the staff were amazing,” she adds. “From the beginning, as soon as I sent my enquiry form in, they settled all of my worries. I remember finding a little bit of light at the end of a very dark tunnel after that first phone call, I thought ‘okay, this is good, there’s help there for me’.
“At first I didn’t want to join meals or activities, but the staff and visitors understood and took the pressure away.
“By the end, I wanted to get involved and I was talking to other people there. They reassured me that what I was feeling at the time was completely normal, and it was okay to be feeling that. I’d effectively had a trauma, and it was understanding that.
“Through the charity I learned the importance of self-care. We’re always helping others, but rarely stop to ask, ‘what am I doing for myself?’”
She adds: “If it wasn’t for the fire service and Fire Fighters Charity, I would probably be in a very different place or not even here.”
Years later, after injuring her ankle, Tash came back to us – and this time discovered our support for family members too.
“My injury meant I was going to be off work for a couple of months,” says Tash. “I was Mum’s primary carer at the time, because she’d been going through cancer treatment.
“Mum was able to drive us both, and they offered her space to stay with me too. She was also able to join with some of the activities and it took a lot of weight and stress off both of our shoulders.
“The impact on her mental health was amazing, she still talks about it now. They actually also noticed in the gym that she was having issues with her back and was overcompensating, so he suggested what could be causing it and recommended she get it seen to. She later had it diagnosed and it was exactly what they’d said.
“It changed her life and it changed mine too. I walked in with crutches, and I walked out without them. Both of us have continued to apply what we learnt at Marine Court and through Fire Fighters Charity.
“I want people to know, if they are a full-time carer, don’t let that stop you from accessing the charity’s support.”
If you feel you’d benefit from our health and wellbeing support, you can call our Support Line on 0800 389 8820, make an enquiry online or click below: