Rachel: “At first, I felt a bit like a fraud because I’m not a firefighter, but I soon realised it’s for all of us”
Throughout her time with Mid and West Wales Fire and Rescue Service, Rachel has shared countless updates, fundraising stories and news articles about Fire Fighters Charity. As Communications, Engagement and Consultation Officer, she was well aware of the support available to the whole of the fire services community.
However, when she was offered a Rest and Recharge stay following a traumatic family loss, she had her doubts about accepting the help herself.
Now, she says: “My advice to anyone else in a support role is: don’t think of yourself as a fraud like I did. We all work for the service, we all work for the same place, and it’s there for everyone.”
Rachel faced an incredibly difficult start to the year when her stepdad died suddenly at home.
“It was a normal Saturday but my parents and I had all been feeling unwell that week,” she says. “I texted my mum to check in on her and she said she’d had to call 111 because she was having chest pains. The next thing I knew, I looked out the window (as my parents lived across the road from me) and there was an ambulance outside.
“I ran over and found my mum was in the ambulance. The paramedics asked me to check on my stepdad, Eddie, who was still in bed feeling unwell, whilst they dealt with my mum.
“After they took mum to hospital, I went to check on him with my husband, but something wasn’t right as he wasn’t responding to me calling his name. I went upstairs to the bedroom, I saw him laying on the bed and straight away I could tell he wasn’t breathing.
“I screamed, which alerted my husband, and he began doing CPR right away. I called 999 and the ambulance crew shortly arrived and worked on him for almost an hour, but he was gone.
“Our local fire crew and Wales and West Utilities also attended, after concerns it could have been carbon monoxide poisoning, with both my parents being unwell prior to the day. It was later found that Eddie had suffered heart failure.”
Having the fire service there, however, was a huge comfort to Rachel, who knew some of them.
In the days that followed, she not only had to come to terms with her own loss but support her mum, husband and three children, who had been very close to their grandad.
“Having to tell all of them the tragic news and then all of his wider family was awful,” Rachel says. “It was a really traumatic time. My mum was in hospital for four days. When she came out, she understandably didn’t want to go back into her house alone. So, she ended up coming to live with us for a while.”
The following weeks were difficult as Rachel tried her best to support everyone around her while processing her own grief.
“I had some of counselling through the service’s Vivup Programme, which was really helpful, and I phoned Fire Fighters Charity at that time to ask about their support,” she says.
“I couldn’t have counselling at the same time I was already having some, so they offered me a Rest and Recharge stay at Harcombe House.
“To be honest, I sat with it for a while because I wasn’t sure it was for me. Eventually, a colleague who’d gone through a loss herself and had support from Fire Fighters Charity told me how great Harcombe House was and that I had to go. She absolutely loved it, and that really put me at ease.”
Rachel visited Harcombe House in August with her husband and two youngest children and says it was exactly what they needed.
“My husband’s a fisherman so we took fishing gear and picnics out with us,” she says. “Then my 15-year-old is craft mad. They had a lot of craft sessions going on and at first my husband was unsure about those, but we all ended up joining her and loved them.
“We all work for the service, we all work for the same place, and it’s there for everyone.”
Rachel Kestin
“There were three other families there. At first, I felt a bit like a fraud because they were firefighters with their families, but soon I realised it’s for all of us, and there was no need to feel that way.
“We actually saw a white deer while we were there too. It was exactly what we all needed, everyone enjoyed it so much. It was just a week of nothingness, we just chilled. We didn’t have to get up early. We didn’t have to rush. We didn’t have to think, and it was lovely.”
She now hopes sharing her experience will encourage others working in support roles to reach out if they need help too: “My advice to anyone else in a support role is: don’t think of yourself as a fraud like I did. We all work for the service, we all work for the same place, and it’s there for everyone.”
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